THE JOY OF HAVING STAFF

Charlie in his typical Charlie pose

Charlie is the brightest, funniest, and most endearing of our staff. Only 19, he plays in his village gamelan orchestra, carves wood, swims and runs, dances the salsa, yelps when he laughs, has friends everywhere, loves cool clothing, loves everything American, and is presently obsessed with getting a Blackberry which costs a fortune in Indonesia.

Phil feels especially close to him and the two of them have created a peculiar way of communicating. I don’t know how it started but this is how it goes:

Phil to Charlie: Do you know where Charlie is? Is he working or watching TV? Or is he sleeping again?

Charlie: Ya, Charlie. So sorry he likes to sleeping. And TV. But maybe he go out with girlfriend now.

Phil: Not again. When you see him will you tell him that we saw him on his motorbike this morning and he was NOT wearing his helmet.

Charlie: What? He no wear helmet? I tell him already: Charlie, if no wear helmet you pay 10.000 rupiah ($1) to Dr. Phil.

Phil: Does he forget to put on his helmet because he gets too excited about seeing his girlfriend?

Charlie: Maybe ya. Maybe he think Ibu (that’s me, Elsha) say only 5.000 rupiah (50 cents).

Phil: Please tell Charlie that Ibu and I care about him a lot. We want him to stay healthy and safe.

Charlie: Ya, later I tell. Maybe when finis TV.


FAMILY VALUES

Charlie asked us for a loan to remodel his family’s house. The roof has caved in and when it rains there is not a dry place in the house. Father, mother and four kids live in two small rooms. He wants to build a new roof and make 4 bedrooms with 4 doors. All it will take is Rp. 15.000.000 ($1,500). We can withhold part of his salary each month until it’s paid off. We’re happy to help. We suggest that he sleep in the villa’s staff quarters for the time being. He wants to think it over.

The next day he tells me that he will not accept our offer because: “When everybody wet, I want also wet. When everybody hot, I want also hot.”

When I give Charlie the money for his house I tell him to go home and deliver it to his father. His father was in the middle of lunch but dropped everything to buy the materials needed to get started immediately. No building plans are necessary, no permits, you just build.

A week later there is a heavy rainstorm at night with lots of thunder and lightning. We’re dry and snug in our bed but the work has not even been started on Charlie’s house. I think about how he collects our newspapers and plastic bags every day to plug up the holes in the roof with. I have a hard time sleeping knowing that Charlie is bailing water out of his house throughout the night.

Instead of having him pay off the loan, we open a savings account for Charlie where he can deposit his monthly withholding. The money is for his education only and cannot be withdrawn without the addition of Phil’s signature. We do the same for Peter to whom we had lent money earlier for buying a good motorbike. On his days off Peter drives home to Singaraja, a 3 hour drive north through the mountains. I pray for the boy's safety.


OTHER STAFF

We were told that sooner or later every expat would experience problems with staff. I thought surely we would be exempt because we treat them well, pay them well, and include them in a lot of fun. Our driver Denny, who we loved and nicknamed Obama, would tell everyone what great bosses we were and how lucky the staff was. So it was very sad to come to the decision to let him go.

Too bad too. It deprived me of some fun. I liked calling him from a crowded place and yell into the phone, “Hello, Obama! Yes I’m finished. Come pick me up now, Obama! I don’t care if you’re in the middle of the banking crisis.” You don’t think I was laying it on too thick, do you?

He found a job in Australia, he said, but he was recently sighted driving tourists around Singaraja.

Before we moved into our villa Pak Regug worked there as security guard for the owner’s art collection. We had nothing of value to protect other than our laptop, so I did not hire him. We kept Charlie on for housekeeping and Peter for gardening. And when we developed a problem with the pool, we hired Toni to fix it and clean it 3 times a week. We were quite happy with our staff.

One day, Pak Regug came over to warn us that the villa across the rice fields had been burglarized. He would be happy to provide our villa with his security services again. He would come in at 7:00 PM and stay till 7:00 AM. In between he would do the rounds and check this area and that area at such and such time.

“When will you sleep?” I asked, knowing that he also farms the rice fields next door.

“I don’t need much sleep.” He said.

Yeah right! And you don’t eat rice either.

I did not know if his burglary story was true or if it was conveniently imagined to get his job back. By now I do know that the Balinese are quite facile with their stories. I also know that it’s best to keep good relations with the community or life can be made quite unpleasant for expats. So, just in case this was a veiled “threat” I decided to hire him at a minimum wage. He made it quite clear that that was unacceptable. We compromised. I told him that I expect him to stay awake. No problem, he said. Oh sure. He would be fast asleep, curled up on the bale by the pool, before we would even go to bed. Twenty burglars in heavy boots could step over him without waking him up. I told him that people pay money to sleep here. I will have to charge him for every night he sleeps. If I didn’t know that he needs to come up with Rp. 3.000.000 ($300) this month for his temple’s big anniversary ceremony, I would have fired him right away.