HOW TO GET THINGS DONE

OUR INTERNET SAGA

We need a phone line to connect to the internet. Telkom, the state telephone company, says it does not have enough numbers. Our neighbor Remco finds someone who needs money and has a telephone number for sale. We share the cost of Rp. 3.000.000 ($300). After much back & forth Telkom says, Okay, we’ll connect you. The line is supposed to be installed in our villa, but when the Telkom technician finally arrives (after days of futile waiting), Remco’s staff directs him to Remco’s house instead and the box is installed there. No problem. We buy a long internet cable, plug one end into Remco's laptop, stretch it across the yard that separates our houses, and plug the other end into our laptop. Small obstacle: If Remco turns off his computer we won't have access to the internet. He needs to keep his laptop on at all times. All is well until Remco falls in love with Ayu and rents a villa in Padang Bai, an hour's drive away from Ubud. He’s moving in three weeks. What to do with the phone line? Back to Telkom where the clerk in Customer Service tries to be helpful. It will cost Rp. 400.000 ($40) to move the line to your villa, she says. The technician will be here this Friday. That afternoon we call the technician to find out what time on Friday we can expect him. He says he’s not coming. Oh, why not? Because our line is bad, he says. Excuse me? It’s been working just fine. No, he says, It’s bad. Hmm... that must be code for Give Me Money. I decide to give our electrician a call. Pak Wayan (not his real name to protect him) is the only electrician I trust because he was trained by an American and I’ve seen the work he has done. Definitely professional. He also does plumbing.
“Pak Wayan,” I say, “I know that you know how to tap into a phone line.”
“It will get me into trouble with Telkom” he says.
“I don’t want you to get into any trouble with Telkom,” I say, “But I also know that you know how not to get into trouble with Telkom.”
“I’ll be there next week.” He says.
Within two days we have a landline and internet and wifi.


TELEVISION

Since the television in Kubu Merta belongs to the villa, we need to buy our own TV for Kubu Santi. From previous shopping experiences I know that the moment a shopkeeper sees me walk in the door he raises his prices. I may look Indonesian, but not really. And as soon as I open my mouth, they know I’m a mark. So I ask Pak Wayan to buy us a TV. He gets one at the local price, I give him a commission, and everyone’s happy.

However, there’s one more step. The television cable and parabola are still at Kubu Merta and need to be moved to where we live now, to Kubu Santi, a distance of about 150 feet. Indovision, the state company that installed it, is not answering their phones or emails. For weeks we try to contact them to no avail.

One day we're visiting with our neighbor Herman across the driveway and it occurs to me to ask him if he has a friend at Indovision. Well, he does not know anyone who works there, but he does know a guy who knows something about cable television. “Are you home tomorrow?” Herman asks.
The next night Phil and I watch a movie on HBO.